Why we do what we do
Updated: May 2
It occurred to me, after it happened the other day, that I intensely dislike when people say "you're welcome" in a sarcastic tone after I have omitted to say thank you, this time because they'd waited for me to exit a shop before they entered. I consider myself to be a polite and respectful person, and in this instance, I genuinely didn't realise that the person was letting me go first - the doorway was plenty wide enough for us both to pass so it wasn't that obvious.
It did make me feel a certain way though, when they were passive-aggressive (or actually, just aggressive) to me. My first initial reaction was "o my goodness, I'm a terrible person, they are going to think I'm a terrible person", followed quite swiftly by a realisation that I'm actually not a terrible person, then I started to feel angry towards them for "making" me feel like that. After all the work that I've done over the last few years, I know for sure that no-one is capable of making me feel any kind of way. I am wholly responsible for how I feel, and whilst certain triggers may prompt a certain emotion, it is definitely up to me how I react to that, and in that way I can control how I continue to feel.
The great thing about having this blog is that I was able to turn a fleeting moment of doubt, insecurity and anger, into something to get curious about, and to discuss. In that way I can reframe what happened. We potentially go through many of these episodes each day, just going about our daily lives. Reframing them and turning them into something that feels less prickly - as well as learning opportunities - is a great way to experience life, in my humble opinion.
Thank you for listening.
*if you enjoy the themes of these musings and would like to learn more, or join in similar conversations, please head over to The Listening House.