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  • Writer's pictureBethF

Choosing the eff

Updated: Jan 29, 2022

We talk a lot in The Listening House about choice. It’s probably one of the most empowering realisations I’ve ever had: we always have the choice in how we act, react and behave, even when we can‘t always control what happens around, and to, us.

So today I chose to have an effit day - a day when I say “eff-it“ as opposed to a day when I put in loads of eff-ort (you can choose what word the “eff” stands for, to suit you - forget, fluff, forego, or something more expletive…)

And it’s ok, it‘s my choice. I know that the consequence of that choice will be that nothing productive gets done. That I’m unlikely to have the kinds of fascinating and insightful conversations that lead to some groundbreaking (for me) inspirational realisations and revelations. That I may skip something that is usually an important part of my daily ritual. It may also result in me holding on to some feelings that may not necessarily serve me long term. And I’m ok with that.

I am the sort of person who goes into things with the desire of doing them as completely and as perfectly* as possibly (*we’ll talk about the definition of perfect another day) and yes, that is also a choice. However, I don’t always feel like dealing with life head on. Its part of being human. I’m not a robot. I believe that sometimes we all want to stamp our feet or claim it’s not fair or hide under the duvet.

And an effit day doesn’t necessarily have to be a lazy day. It can be a day where you just choose not to do the things you believe you “should” or that others expect of you. On an effit day you get to make the rules. Or not. Your choice.

Tomorrow may also be an effit day. Who knows? What I do know is that whatever I do, it will be because I choose it - even those chores and habits that aren’t always fun are because I have chosen to live the way I live, with a clean(ish) house and an independence that comes from having money that I’ve earned. So I choose to do housework and do the job that I’m paid to do. Until my next effit day.

And that gives me so much peace.

Thank you for listening.

*if you enjoy the themes of these musings and would like to learn more, or join in similar conversations, please head over to The Listening House

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